| “Kirsten, if your friend Brianna does get Sean, that definitely means that you could have got him as a boyfriend, then,” Kirsten’s mother tried to encourage, although, Kirsten did not feel that she really needed to be encouraged. “No, I couldn’t have, for several reasons. Mom, I don’t need to be dating to feel loved. I don’t care if my friends and family are all dating, I am happy being single. Also, Bri is pretty, sweet, and just a long-time friend of Sean.” Kirsten’s mother did not seem to hear the first part of what Kirsten said, but pounced on the latter part. “Kirsten, don’t you think you are pretty? Hasn’t anybody ever told you that you are pretty?” Kirsten didn’t answer. What could she say? A few people in the past had said she was pretty, but she had blown it off, because the people in her life that counted never did. Her mother never had said she was pretty; she only had spoken of her flaws. So, Kirsten kept quiet. “Kirsten, you have an adorable shaped face, and your hair is thick and beautiful. Your eyes are great too! Why don’t you think that you are pretty?” Kirsten couldn’t help herself, and tears rolled down her cheeks. Trying to hide her embarrassment from her mother she turned away. Never did she think she would hear her mother say the one thing that she had wanted her whole life to hear her say. Maybe now she could finally start believing it when other people would compliment her, instead of brushing it off. Kirsten had come a long way from cutting herself, crying herself to sleep, to what she was now; completely satisfied with who she was in Christ. In the last two and a half years she had gone for counseling to deal with her depression, which has helped her to see herself the way God does and not the way the world seemed to see her. And although she had been 99% satisfied with who she was, she still wanted to hear her mother say that, and now she had, but now that her mother said it, she doesn’t know how to take it… That is a conversation I was told about this past week. So sad to believe a lie for such a long time, but I thought it was amazing how “Kirsten” had overcome the lie that she was not good enough or pretty-enough. But although she has said that she had overcome it, something tells me that she still wanted to hear those words used in the same sentence as her name; like as a reassurance or something. I bet there is a lot of girls out there, like Kirsten, who want to know that they are special, but unfortunately, many will look for it in the wrong place. I told Kirsten that I was proud that she was able to find her special-ness without needing to have a guy to do it. |
